Not Visibly Queer
Ursula Oliver on young LGBT+ people's experiences, and accepting her own bisexuality.
Ursula Oliver is studying towards a master's in psychology, and her research explores young LGBT+ people's experiences with sex and relationship education in the UK. Ursula is a member of the Bisexual Research Group.
3 things you wish everyone knew about bisexuality?
There is no one-size-fits-all 'look' of bisexuality. It is fluid from person to person, and will be experienced differently. Bisexual men in relationships with women are not just straight, and bisexual women in relationships with women are not just lesbians.
Being bisexual is not a phase, it is real and valid.
Being bisexual is pretty awesome.
Why are you interested in research on bisexuality?
I think that research on bisexuality offers a challenge to misinformation and harmful stereotypes surrounding bisexuals' experiences in relationships and life in general.
Findings from this can then have implications for educational and advocacy settings and help to steer the conversation towards real, lived experiences of bisexuals.
What does your research explore?
My final master’s project is on "Exploring young LGBT+ people's experiences with sex and relationship (SRE) education in the UK".
I'm interested in cognitive dissonance amongst bisexuals, the experience of bisexual students, the opinions of bisexual students on the topic of sex and relationship education in the UK, and perceptions of bisexuality within the LGBT+ community.
How do you define bisexuality?
I would define bisexuality as an attraction to more than one gender. For me that's an important caveat because saying "attraction towards men and women" excludes non-binary and gender-fluid people.
What are the most pressing concerns within the bisexual community in 2020?
“What concerns me most is the way some people's definitions of bi+ identities are inherently transphobic.”
Trans women are women and trans men are men, so when misinformation suggestion that pansexuality is the same as bisexuality, but inclusive of trans and nonbinary people, this is really harmful.
Not only because it invalidates these individuals' gender, but also because it insinuates a transphobia within bisexuality. That being said, I also think we need to address when this does exist, such as within trans-exclusionary radical feminist groups.
What bi research would you like people to know about?
My area of interest is young people's experiences, particularly whilst in education, and so a journal article that stuck in my mind was Hackimer and Proctor (2015)'s study exploring how support within a community and gay-straight alliances within schools can impact young, LGBT+ students' experiences. It's a particularly good article for acknowledging the unique experiences of bisexual youth, although it doesn't explore this in great detail.
I also found Barker et al's The Bisexuality Report (2012) aimed at policy-makers important for raising the awareness of the need to include bisexuals in the agenda for equality.
Getting more personal…
Are you bi?
I describe myself more as bi+ because I experience attraction in a way that gender isn't really involved, so how pansexuality is often defined. However, I'm happy with the terms bisexual, bi+, pansexual and queer, as I feel I relate to all of these.
Can you tell me a bit about your bi experience?
I didn't really know I was bi until I was in my early twenties, but I think that is more down to the lack of education and language surrounding being bi.
I distinctly remember being around 12 years old and coming out to a friend at the time and being told I was wrong, it was normal to find other girls attractive it doesn't mean I wanted to be with them. I suppose I spent the next 10 years or so after that thinking the same way, with this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that didn't feel right.
Then as I learned more (and I think what was crucial as well was seeing more bi representation in TV and films) I slowly came to realisation that actually, it was more than that for me.
“It was important to me to come out because I am not in a visibly queer relationship”
… and I wanted to be more visible because I knew for myself that representation is what helped me become more comfortable with myself and my own identity. I came out for the first time a few years ago to just my partner initially (he was/is great and supportive) and then last year to most other people in my life.
Follow Ursula on Twitter: @UrsulaOliver