Love Widely
Oli Lipski on the orgasm gap, tackling biphobia, and building a Bi+ community online.
Oli Lipski has a BA in History (of Bisexuality) and an MA in Sexual Dissidence (Queer Theory) and has been an LGBT lecturer at the University of York. She has written a number of articles about Sex Tech, including on VR porn for women, pleasure apps, and hacking sex toys.
3 things you wish everyone knew about bisexuality?
Bi people are not defined by their current relationships.
Bisexuals are not transphobic.
#BisexualMenExist
Why are you interested in research on bisexuality?
Learning about bisexuality drastically changed the way I look at myself, and connected myself to the rest of the world.
It is an ongoing process of empowerment and community finding, considering the stigma that was attached to my identity growing up. I want to continue learning and also contribute to the research in order to tackle bi-phobia, bi-erasure and monosexism, and continue to build strength and healing for our community.
What does your research explore?
I spent my degrees researching the history of bisexuality through the lens of 1970s science fiction. I also researched queer theory in popular culture, animation, international development, English literature, and law and politics.
Since graduating in 2017, I have worked within sex tech to smash taboos around sex and sexuality, and queer the conversation.
What are the most interesting facts that you have learned about bisexuality from your research?
Bisexual women experience a lower rate of orgasms in their sexual relationships compared to lesbians (#orgasmgap). Source.
Bisexual people experience higher rates of mental health problems than most other sexualities. Source.
This year, it was found (in the US) that 48% of Millenials and Gen Z say they aren't completely straight! That is in complete disagreement with the 2002 stats (in Australia) that say 97% of people identify as completely heterosexual. Source.
How do you define bisexuality?
Bi+ is an umbrella term for many bisexual identities! But for me it is the attraction to my own gender and other genders.
For me it is a beautiful gift - the capacity to love widely.
Most pressing concerns for the bi community in 2020?
The erasure of bi men
The marginalisation of trans, intersex and non-binary folk, bisexual POCs and disabled bisexuals
The lack of bi-positive sexual and mental health services
What bi research would you like people to know about?
Bi Notes for a Bisexual Revolution, by Shiri Eisner
Finding Bisexuality in Fiction: essay appears in Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, 2nd Edition, ed. Robyn Ochs and Sarah E. Rowley. Bisexual Resource Center, 2009 pp. 255-257.
Purple Prose, Bisexuality in Britain
I wrote essays on Bisexuality in 1970s Science Fiction and Re-Queering the Sailor Moon Franchise
Is there anything else you would like to tell me about bisexual research or bisexuality?
Spaces like the Bisexual Research Group give me hope for the younger generation.
I feel like it's a process of healing for me. If we can do the work and challenge stereotypes and stigmas around queer identities with our bisexual research, that would be such an achievement.
One of my favourite bi academics is Robyn Ochs who calls for us to "find bisexuality in fiction" where it is ambiguous, erased or invisible to the naked eye. Though we are increasingly seeing more open bisexual characters and celebrities, let's push for better. We make up the largest portion of the LGBTQ+ umbrella!
Getting more personal…
Are you bi? Yes
Does being bisexual change how you approach your work?
I consistently look at my work through a queer lens, trying to disrupt the blatant heteronormativity in all areas of life, including my interpersonal relationships.
At work, I often write about sex for mostly straight audiences, and use my wisdom to educate and raise awareness by queering the conversation.
Can you tell me a bit about your experience?
I came out at 13 when I went out with my first girlfriend, and have continued to date multiple genders since. Everyone knows I am bi - I've always been pretty vocal about it, though picking my moments carefully to come out to strangers.
Unfortunately, most of my teenage life the majority of my peers refused to believe that I was bisexual; many thought it was a "just a phase", or that I was doing it for attention.
I felt many times I should just go back in the closet, or wish I'd never come out in the first place, but since finding my community - mostly online, but increasingly in my queer circles - I feel proud of my journey and more safe and secure in who I am.
